The Upside of Down: 3 Mind-Blowing Lessons on the Contrary
When my son was very young, he was quite contrarian. “Time to eat dinner.” Boy flings food on the floor. “Time to put your socks on.” Boy tosses socks across the room. “Time for a bath.” Boy streaks bare ass naked out the door. My child’s rebellious nature was funny at first…then it became aggravating…until it became predictable. Soon I developed a command-alt syntax knowing he’d do the opposite of what I asked. “Don’t eat that.” Boy stuffs food into face. “Leave your socks off.” Boy pulls socks on and crosses ankles to prevent removal. “No bath tonight”. Boy turns on faucet and collects every bath toy the dog hasn’t destroyed.
How clever I was! Little did I realize that this seemingly innocuous parental life hack was doing more to ingrain opposition than cooperation. Truth is, I was doing a disservice by trying to game my kid into better behavior. Teaching him proper behavior would ultimately take time, energy, and a lot of vodka consumption. 🍸
Now almost 12 years later, and in all seriousness, I’m thinking about my son’s former contrarian nature because our collective world has turned upside down. In the midst of mandated physical isolation and with 2020 vision, I set my mind free to ponder philosophical contradictions and the lessons they hold. Contradictions like duality, paradox and reflection. If you’re like me and have had a nagging feeling that things today aren’t what they seem, read on. You might discover why.
The flip side of the coin. The eye of the storm. The shadow vs. the light. Duality is an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something. The law of physics has never been so apparent in exposing the equal and opposite reaction to the action. In the US, reaction to Obama is Trump. In various regions, reaction to schools shutting down is a greater appreciation for our education system than ever. Internationally, the reaction to tech reliance is ancient wisdom, nature and lo-fi. And perhaps, just perhaps on a global scale, when concern over climate change, environmental pollution and mass human extinction has hit a colossal high, the coronavirus reaction is bringing temporary industry shut down that forces greening, air purification and a clarion call for human health at unprecedented levels.
The duality of human unconsciousness vs. consciousness is also becoming wildly apparent. It’s no surprise that the collective conscious is elevating, feverishly striving to crack out of the materialistic, superficial shell that society has shrouded us in for generations. It’s the logical and inevitable reaction to souls that have been held captive by media and illusions of what success should look like. People are now searching for more answers and a greater sense of purpose so that they can truly know what success feels like. What is that success you ask? It isn’t about ignorance, it’s about awareness. It isn’t about accumulating things, its about giving away things to those who need it. It isn’t about needing others to be happy, it’s about loving yourself to be happy.
What are some lesson-filled dualities that you’ve become aware to recently? Let us know in the comments. Sharing is caring.
A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true. Inherent in every paradox is conflict, but therein lies its insight.
In his work Philosophical Fragments, Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote, “One must not think ill of the paradox, for the paradox is the passion of thought, and the thinker without the paradox is like the lover without passion: a mediocre fellow. But the ultimate potentiation of every passion is always to will its own downfall, and so it is also the ultimate passion of the understanding to will the collision, although in one way or another the collision must become its downfall. This, then, is the ultimate paradox of thought: to want to discover something that thought itself cannot think.”
When we embrace the conflict of seemingly incongruous circumstances, we activate awareness of the lessons they hold. This awareness enables us to learn from conflict, strengthen, and then grow past them. As Ryan Holiday wrote, ‘The obstacle is the way.’ Obstacles and even failure can be of profound benefit, because they can motivate us to seek out alternatives we might not have considered. Additionally, true obstacles aren’t always in front of us but rather inside of us. Stubbornness, arrogance and fear are ego-driven barriers that when overcome can paradoxically lead to great external victories. According to Stoic and Buddhist philosophy, only in facing a strong enemy are we able to become strong ourselves. And only in developing strength can we navigate life’s challenges with a sense of confidence and calm.
How can we embrace the lesson of the paradox today? We can discover whole wellness in the midst of a global pandemic. We can embody universal connection in the midst of social distancing. We can diffuse our inner calm in the midst of chaos. When we surrender and learn from obstacles that befall us, we can understand the beautiful reasons why they were placed in our path.
What are some lesson-filled paradoxes that you’ve become aware to recently? Let us know in the comments. Sharing is caring.
Earl Nightingale once wrote, “Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.” Anais Nin reinforced this by writing, “You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.” Let’s think about this for a moment. Imagine that reality is nothing but a mirror reflecting on your inner world. If you feel chaos and confusion inside your mind, your external world presents chaos and confusion. If you feel serene and optimistic inside your mind, your external world presents serenity and optimism. Why is this? Because every human is a processor and interpreter of life’s inputs. We manifest into the physical world what we are inside, and then we loop back into ourselves that which we perceive in the environment.
When you perceive kindness, intelligence, beauty or light in another person, you are actually sensing the goodness that resides in yourself. When you perceive aggravation, frustration, annoyance, or arrogance in another person, you are actually sensing those aspects of yourself that you have subconsciously dismissed or don’t like. If a person’s personality rubs you the wrong way, extreme discomfort emerges to indicate the mirroring aspects inside you that are ready to be healed. These may be issues from your past that have gone unresolved.
I’ve now become a believer in divine timing. I believe every person we meet shows up at just the right time in our lives to reflect something we need to heal within ourselves. Our friends, our bosses, our role models and especially our children are placed before us to help discover ourselves more deeply. Reflecting upon this thought, it’s actually the people who get on our nerves the most who are among our greatest teachers.
So when you come across a person or a situation that is really unnerving, take pause, then ask yourself, “What is this teaching me? What is the lesson here?” Soon it will come to you, and when it does, give thanks to that person or situation for the lesson with a heart full of appreciation. You’ll then be able to move on with greater self-realization and awareness.
What are some lesson-filled reflections that you’ve become aware to recently? Let us know in the comments. Sharing is caring.
